Living with Klinefelter Syndrome: Part 4
My parents knew something about my anger, temper, quiet, and shyness, and not achieving the same as my peers at the same time wasn’t right. They had no idea what was occurring until I received my KS/XXY diagnosis in February 1996.
Throughout my life and before my diagnosis, I saw many psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, and physicians to determine why I was having so many issues in school with learning, socially, behaviorally, and with extensive mood changes. They could not determine anything specific while testing me for everything from A to Z. My testing began as early as 1973 and continued through the late 1980s.
Klinefelter Syndrome was not even considered, as it was so rare and unheard of at the time. Even as I rewrote my story in 2019, KS/XXY still wasn’t a mainstream condition that you might equate with Autism, Down Syndrome, Cancer, or many other well-known medical conditions. The only significant aspect throughout the testing was the variety of learning differences I had. They created numerous problems during my schooling years.
My learning differences included reading comprehension, abstract thinking, understanding of non-visual materials, word retrieval, some slight memory difficulties, auditory processing, and taking standardized tests. I was meant to feel inferior and stupid by some of my teachers in elementary, middle, and high school. I was bullied by classmates and peers, and was very immature for my age. I got into dangerous situations because I wanted friends and would do whatever someone asked me to do if they were my friend. My self-esteem was low. I felt confused and didn’t know how to handle myself during those school years.
Graduation day from Catonsville Community College, 1992
In second grade, my primary teacher told me that I would never amount to anything. In seventh grade, a psychologist said to me that I would probably live at home forever, never have a good job, and never be successful. Imagine being told that as a vulnerable young boy and teenager!
After being told those things, I was convinced that I just needed to prove to everyone who said I would fail that I was wrong. It has been a very redeeming quality of my life to show those who doubted me that I could succeed despite being told I was a loser.
These learning differences still affect me today, even as a 49-year-old adult. These learning differences still affect me in one way or another. However, during my first year of college, I decided I needed to figure out how to compensate for my learning differences. There had to be a method that I could rely on to navigate life and achieve success.
I spent a lot of time during my first few years of college figuring out how to overcome my learning issues and not let them hold me back from succeeding and living my life. Eventually, I realized I could work around my disabilities and focus on the positives and strengths.
I then had to determine my strengths and how I plan to focus on my best learning aspects. What I found to be strengths that work for me may not work for others, as it’s genuinely about figuring out your learning style and modifying it for yourself. I must focus on visualization, repetition, and hands-on learning. Sounds easy, right?
I found that if I was shown something, even only once, I could continue to do it. I could adapt that style to whatever I was doing. Repetition, meaning lots of reading, and especially re-reading. Re-reading something three times enables me to grasp and understand the concepts and meanings fully. I can’t say it was easy, especially throughout college, re-reading hundreds of pages between classes.
It was certainly practical and more straightforward than the alternative, failing. Visualization, to me, is a concrete way of thinking. I struggle with abstract thinking and concepts. If I didn’t visualize what I needed to do, whether for school or working in my adult life, I would struggle and have to spend a lot of time thinking about what I was being asked to do.
Several aspects of my adult life would not have been possible without the learning strategies I developed to move forward with my life.
Graduation from Colby-Sawyer College, 1994
During my six-year journey throughout college, which began in the fall of 1989 at a community college outside of Baltimore, Maryland, I experienced many things. I worked almost full-time while in community college. I was still undiagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome at this time. I still struggled socially and emotionally, had anger issues, and didn’t feel I was as mature as my peers around me.
I spent three years at Catonsville Community College, graduating with an Associate of Science (A.S.) degree in Business Administration in May 1992. I took many classes in various areas to fulfill the required coursework.
I also took exciting classes and experimented with other courses. For instance, the class for which I took an absence was my college science course, Meteorology. A local meteorologist taught the class, and it was great. I had decent grades, not outstanding, but better than in high school. I was working on perfecting my learning strategy methods, and that allowed me to experiment with different situations and scenarios.
While at the community college, I consulted with a college career recruiting specialist to determine the best place to transfer after completing my Associate’s degree. Remember, this was before the internet existed, so going online to find colleges that best fit my skills and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life wasn’t as easy.
Through my career specialist and various career tests, we determined a list of 10 colleges to consider. Through library research and knowing that I wanted to attend a school in New England to complete my Bachelor’s Degree, I focused on schools in the region. Then I researched and reviewed the materials the career specialist had prepared for me. I planned a trip with my parents to visit seven schools, the majority of which were small colleges I had never heard of before.
I ultimately chose Colby-Sawyer College in central New Hampshire. I attended the small, 600-student Liberal Arts college from September 1992 to May 1995.
The college has more than doubled in size since then. Colby-Sawyer College was an all-women’s college through 1990. It would not have been possible to attend immediately after high school.
I chose this college because it offered all the academic programs I was looking for, as well as numerous social activities for students on and off campus. I was looking for a small school, not one where I would be invisible. I wanted to grow socially, emotionally, and educationally, and I found exactly what I was looking for, making lifelong friends along the way. Though I don’t see them often in person, the internet and social media have made it much easier to stay in touch.
I learned a great deal about myself and who I am. I refined my learning compensation strategies and became a functioning member of society. Colby-Sawyer College was 500 miles from where I grew up, and it was my first experience leaving home and being primarily on my own.
I graduated in May 1994 and May 1995 with dual Bachelor of Science degrees in Business Administration and Sports Management. Although my educational goals changed during my years attending Colby-Sawyer College, I received an excellent education that I have applied to my lifelong career. During my years at Colby-Sawyer College, I achieved some unbelievable educational accomplishments.
I made the Dean’s list for the first time ever. I had a 4.0 semester, only one, but that’s an accomplishment for me. I achieved honors in several semesters and never had one semester where my GPA was below 3.0! Though it wasn’t a storybook ending, as I graduated within 2/100ths of a point from graduating cum laude. So much for only getting 680 on my SATs!!!
My first year out of college was a confusing time. It was a year when I was trying to figure out where I belonged in the world and life after college. It was during this year that I received my Klinefelter Syndrome diagnosis.
Continued in Part 5: Living with Klinefelter Syndrome
